Tonight, we are trying an experiment here at The Sweetness. It’s called liveblogging. Well, technically it’s fake liveblogging, because 1) we are watching a DVR’ed version and 2) we are skipping commercials. There is really no point to recording my thoughts on commercials. C’mon.
OK HERE WE GO.
CAT DEELEY: I love you Cat Deeley and your British accent. Gives the whole show a sheen of legitimacy – see American Idol. Although your nude dress makes it seem like you aren’t wearing anything with that above the waist camera shot.
We’ve decided we don’t like Ryan. And his muscles. He runs around with the word “Adonis” tattooed on his forehead.
PLEASE WELCOME YOUR….JUDGEEEEEEESSSSSSSS
Adam Shankman – we love Adam Shankman
I feel attacked by Mary’s Earrings.
Dude. Nigel Lithgoe IS a cold hearted snake.
Although it appears that the studios have some sort of heart because BILLY
Noelle is back after injury. I don’t care, except that she is Russel’s partner. And I love Russell.
Fail at Rapping, Noelle.
OOH NEW COREOGRAPHER. I dunno about this whole tennis thing tho.
But Noelle, your voice is annoying and shrill.
So not hard core. Noelle.
Of COURSE it was a winning performance Adam. It has Russel in it. And the coreographer did a Miley Cyrus routine. That had to have been interesting.
So Adam, although you started out liking it…you kinda talked yourself out of liking it…
Mary, you tend to be too tentative. Also, you may or may not be wearing a bra. No. You aren’t wearing a bra. WEAR A BRA WOMAN.
Ha Nigel your joke fell flat. Boo to you Nigel. Boo to you.
Ew God. Victor. Go Away. The Mav thinks he looks like the sort of person who has no consonants when he speaks and just goes so high with his voice as to be beyond the realm of human hearing.
Hehe. I need to use the word “reprobate” more.
Ew. Ashley. It is not ok to be leaving lash marks on your partner’s face from YOUR GROSS SWEATY LONG HAIR.
Ew puddles of sweat. Gross and dangerous.
How many times do they need to bring up the fact that she is married?? WE GET IT.
I love Etta James.
That is a dapper dapper man. And more graceful than a 100 pound girl. Hahaha he is doing all the tricks. Because he can. And is that awesome. And stop with the kissing. It is making everyone uncomfortable.
Adam, when you say “you guys” everyone knows you mean “Jacob”
*sigh* more praise for Jacob. Of course.
Victor and Bianca are that they each think that the other is ANNOYING.
YAY TYCE ROUTIIIIIIIIIIINE.
Definitely straining on these lifts there Victor. I feel like she is doing great here tho. But the fact that he is so off is throwing her off too.
CAN YOU FEEL IT. Cat Deeley looks confused. Interesting cricism – he feels like he knew that they were dancing. Very thoughtful and valid. I feel like he really put the nail on the head with what was wrong, on why it felt off.
Uh oh. Another Bollywood. Ho Boy.
Mollee, have you graduated from 8th grade yet? Ew, why are you commentating on your partner’s bathroom habits?
I refuse to call it Molleewood.
OOoh sound effects. Not the best Bollywood we’ve seen. And the ending was kinda weird.
Hahahah it’s the Beatles in a bindhi. That’s funny.
God. Mary's screaming. I’m gonna dive for cover.
The Mav – “couple tweeny bopper” NEW NICKNAME.
Stop trying to vamp Kevin. I feel assaulted by your pursed lips. I get it. You’re hot. Thx.
EW CHANNING AND PHILLIP. Phillip, your grin is creepy. Freakish freakish grin.
Ooh samba. Let’s see if athlete dancer can move her ass. Cuz that’s what it comes down to.
OMG she might have a concussion. Ow Ow OW. How is she not unconscious.
Yes. Struggling. That’s putting it mildly. And yeah, you need to be supportive when you are both..kinda..sucking.
Still concerned about that concussion. Try not to keel over.
Ooh key – criticism gets rid of the grin. Noted.
Channing, you are tilting. Get that checked.
You have got to be kidding me. Ice Cream Paint Job? C’mon.
That was less dancing and…just gyrating. IT WAS I’m sorry.
AHAHAHA ADAM SHANKMAN JUST FELL OFF HIS CHAIR.
Kevin. Stop Vamping.
*sigh* The hot tamale train. Of course. I’ll just cover my ears right now.
Kevin. Stop Vamping.
‘You’re like an invertebrate, dahling”
Kevin. Stop. Vamping.
No. It’s not fine if you cry Legacy. It is never ok. In fact, it would be better for everyone if you just went home.
MAN. I hate it when dancer’s that I hate do well. It makes me feel guilty. *grudgingly* That was very pretty.
Peter, I’m glad you are cuter. OOoh Wade Robson. I wait expectantly for your music choice. Also, your explanations don’t make sense. The dancers are confused. NG Wade. Not Good.
YES LOVE THE MUSIC. I knew you would come through.
Cat – this is the first time I have caught sight of your SHOES hahaha. Classier pom poms on the heels.
OMG the Mav is overwhelmed with giggles.
Liked the Tango. Granted, I always love tango. Ahhh
Totes agree with the bottom four.
Interesting choice Bianca for tap. Tootsee roll by the 69 Boys. Damn.
Ok calling it. Phillip and Noelle are going home.
GIRLS: Oh wow. Bianca is going home. After years of trying…
GUYS: Philip Gone.