Monday, August 30, 2010

Friday, May 28, 2010

Sometimes, I am made of awesome

QUITE LIKE THESE COOKIES:





OMG they were amazing. I've been more-than-is-healthy obsessed with Smitten Kitchen for the past few days. Her argument about how 97% of things are better homemade than what you pay $4.00 for at Starbucks or Mrs. Fields is absolutely true. Splittin' 'em with The Blonde, and bringin some to work tomorrow before flyin' up to Portland for The Big's wedding.

Yes. Of course I'm going to hit Powell's Books. Don't ask stupid questions.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

It's HOLMES homes! (Sorry)

You know that feeling you get when you've got work and life and friends and the gym and all you want to do is go. back. to. your. book?

No? JUST ME THEN.

The Russell Holmes mysteries make me so happy, I geek out. The series is about Sherlock Holmes' wife: how she met him in the early days of the Great War, and their marriage in the 20s. The character is wickedly aberbic and rabidly intelligent, and gives Holmes a run for his money. I enjoy her immensely. This is the latest book, just out in April:


I spent about an hour at Crepes on Cole tonight with a strawberry-nutella crepe and a pot of English Breakfast, completely blissed out.

That's the sweetness.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Movie Review: The Losers


Any one else would be dead by now? That's the tagline?

AUTOMATIC HEADS UP THIS MOVIE WILL BE AWESOME.

I love movies that don't take themselves too seriously. There are explosions, there are witty one liners, there are guns, there's even a crossbow. HELL THERE IS A REFERENCE TO PIRATES.

What's not to like? You HAVE to go into a movie like this without any expectations. Not even the expectation that you will be pleasantly entertained. I was worried, because the trailers attached to this movie included Step Up 3D and The Takers, a movie starring BOTH Paul Walker and Hayden Christensen. I don't really think anything else needs to be said.

Anyway...The Losers. Poorly thought-out plot? Check. Weak villain that backed by the US government? Check. Bazooka? Check. Wildly enjoyable? Check.

Totally win for a Wednesday night.

Go Petunias.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Tuesday is Music Day!

"A stroke, you unbrookable ninny. The only stroke I have ever had is one of genius!!" - Mr. Edward Magorium.

Recently, I had a stroke of UNMITIGATED GENIUS. I decided to take guitar lessons. I have had a classical guitar in my possession for a few years now, but have never really learned how to play it. Sure, I say I am "trying to teach myself guitar" but let's get real here. If you want to learn an instrument, it takes discipline. It takes practice. It takes the guilt and the threat of potential embarassment of showing up to class without having practiced and TOTALLY SUCKING.

Needless to say, I needed the structure a class could provide.

Enter Zambaleta. This place is awesome team. If you live ANYWHERE in San Francisco, I strongly encourage you to check it out. It's got everything from Guitar 1 to Turkish singing to yoga to Haitian Kanaval dance.

It's so affordable that even I can handle it. In 5 classes I can pretty much play this:


TOMORROW I PLAY THIS:


Ok, not really. BUT THAT WOULD BE PRETTY SWEET.

Kirk out.

Monday, May 17, 2010

Notes from Today (and possibly earlier)

I offer the following:

For your edification:

On another note:


I've been OBSESSED with this video (and kinetic typography in general) for a while. Love.

Finally, a scene from our sponsors:
Roommate I enters apartment, chattering gaily about dim sum while raving about the condition of Fell post B2B.
Roommate II commiserates with story of LITERALLY THE UGLIEST TATTOO EVER (seen below)
Roommate I moves toward rear of apartment to change clothes, opens door and SHRIEKS, then falls over, roaring with laughter.
Roommate II, knowing what Roommate I has discovered, giggles like a friggin' LOON.
Enter innocent bystander (McDeezy) who peers curiously into Roommate I's room, then startles back, discovering THIS SITTING UP IN BED.
The End.

Friday, May 7, 2010

Fantastic News

Attention all: The De Facto Publishing site has launched! Our fearless leader intends to "commission a tee-shirt that says PREZ immediately, as well as ring Barack posthaste about forming some sort of guild".

Sounds like a good plan to me.

There's even a new fan page on Facebook. CHECK IT OUT.

But the best part? THE BEST PART IS THAT WE ARE ALREADY ACCEPTING SUBMISSIONS FOR A NEW BOOK. Yes people. A book that will be PUBLISHED. In hard copy. It's pretty amazing.

De Facto Publishing is an independent, non-profit publishing house located in San Francisco, California. We are currently accepting submissions for a compilation of short stories.

We are looking for short stories centered around women in their twenties in California, those qualifications being the only limits for subject matter. We are interested in stories about work, families, homes, cooking, friends, relationships, sunglasses, your dog, new shoes--any sort of subject matter, as long as it pertains to the human experience of being a woman in her twenties in California. Your age doesn't matter, your gender doesn't matter- the point is to write a story that relates to being a woman in her twenties in California, whether it's personal experience, a witness account, a theory about it, or what you anticipate.

This is not a paid gig! This publishing house, as a non-profit company in an industry where the bulk of the revenue is generated by the top 50 publishing houses in the industry, exists to promote literature! What you will get is industry recognition and something for your portfolio.

Submissions are accepted in physical form only. Keep the story 10-20 pages, print it, and send it in a manila envelope with your contact information on the first page to:

PO Box 26367
San Francisco, CA
94126

Website: www.defactopublishing.com
Twitter @DeFactoPub
Blog: www.defactopublishing.blogspot.com

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

On the Internet

My friends have joked that I consume about 90% of the Internet.

"Did you hear about the Muppets and the Webby Awards?" they would ask. But before they even hit "Muppets" I've already said yes. By the time they say "Webby Awards" I've already come up with the relevant video:

SO I'VE DECIDED TO CURATE THE INTERNET.

I'm culling these from all kinds of sources. My Reader (mostly) with interior design and recipes, Twitter (Whatever team, embrace it), and general things I've been sent from friends.

To start off, watch this immediately:


This went viral last Friday, and I've watched it probably 4 times since then. Hilarious.

Also, this:
The Choir of Antarctica by ILoveDoodle.

That's the Sweetness.

Monday, April 12, 2010

Wait...what?

The Cast: The Mav, The Blonde, and I

The Situation: Working on resumes

Topic: Where the HELL in Turkey has The Blonde been (like Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego, without the two-bit music)

So The Blonde is trying to remember the name of the island in Turkey she went on her cruise in case she is asked for specifics in her interview. We thought we had figured out the mystery when she exclaims in satisfaction, "WAIT, I REMEMBER! It was the one with ALL THE RUINS"

The one with all the ruins eh? The island with all the ruins in the Mediterranean Sea.

Oh. Of course. I know that one.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

On Projects.

I was speaking with The Coz today, off in merrie olde England, and I was getting all excited for summer. For her garden. Ok - for her mother's garden, which she will not be able to enjoy this year because she will be gallivanting around Europe, going to Operas in Vienna, and so on.

Because I am obsessed with Reader, and more specifically the glorious possibilities afforded to me by the source of instant gratification in the form of food blogs, Food in Jars was recently brought to my attention. Canning, apparently, is the new Thing. The new Cake Pops, if you will. As people move away from processed foods, and actually eye the nutritional labels to see the sodium content (and subsequently keel over from spontaneous cardiac arrest) the old-fashioned ways return.



Fascinating no? The product review seems particularly intriguing. I was not able to talk myself into the purchase however. I feel like I should start smaller with things I actually have available: blackberry jam, for instance. Or pickles.

Not making my own butter from the placid Cow I have in the backyard.

We shall see if this actually happens. I typically get all excited to start a project, but rarely actually do so. For example, the time I wanted to build a couch. Or last week, when I got all excited to make pillows out of my new bridesmaid dress.

However, when I DO start things, I typically finish them. For example, I am still working on my scarf! At this point it is NEARLY large enough to SWADDLE A BABY. So...I am still toolin' right along on that front.

Except when that "thing" that I start is Lent. I don't want to talk about it.

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Pretty. Awesome.

So, per the usj, I am late to the game of hooking up the old lappy to your roommate's SWEET HDTV.

And per the usj, I am kicking myself for not doing it sooner. The DVD player seems to have suffered a terrible and ugly death, and is refusing to work. I, in my infinite wisdom, elected to purchase the appropriate cables so that I could use the player in my lappy.

1) VGA Cable
2) Audio Cable #1
3) Audio Cable #2

Note that all three were purchased separately, with a great deal of frustration. But finally, FINALLY everything is working as it should, and it is a revelation. No joke - we just streamed Julie, Julia from Netflix and it was a piece of pie. Or Bavarian Raspberry Creme if you prefer.

Currently listening to my Ocean's 13 soundtrack through the TV while paging through the recently uploaded pictures of the work on the HOUSE for the 3rd time. Ask, and I will send photos :D

Inspired to write thanks to Meryl Streep. I love you Meryl Streep.

BON APPETITE

Thursday, March 25, 2010

A Dinner Party

The Menu:
Macaroni in an Extra Sharp Cheddar and Gruyere sauce with nutmeg and paprika
Mushrooms in a Marsala Reduction
Pao de Queijo
Green Salad with Blood Oranges & Apples with a fresh vinagrette
BV's Rutherford Cabernet Sauvignon

The Company:
3 neuroscientists, a professor of economics at Johns Hopkins, an entrepreneur, and (for the purposes of this post) an editor.

The Music:
Classical Violin

This sounds pretty impressive right? RIGHT

Everything else:
We ran out of dining chairs, and so 2 of our illustrious company were camping out on office chairs. The boys decided it would be fancier if we ate in the living room so we crammed the table in between the couch and the stereo. This meant that we were constantly clambering over the couch. We also ran out of plates...and one person jerry-rigged a "plate" out of a pot lid upended over a bowl. We didn't have enough wine, so people resorted to PBR.

It's like...we know what class is...and we aspire to it! We just couldn't...quite...make it.

Dinner was awesomely fun though. And delicious.

PS. I love that I am tagging this as both "Awesome" and "Fail"

Friday, March 19, 2010

That's a SPICY MEATBALL

Except...it really wasn't. BUT IT WAS TOTALLY DELICIOUS.

Sidebar: I brought this up with my cousin today - about how often I will use caps, especially in my conversations with her. She pointed out that we tend to scream when we are around each other anyway.

Oh. Right.

Anywhoozle, LOOK AT THIS:



Jesus God. It's after midnight, and I'm still way full from my meatballs a few hours ago, but looking at this picture makes me want to go raid the fridge.

I won't though! I have something that was at one point a distant relative of self control!

You can find the recipe here from Pioneer Woman. I love her - her food is friggin amazing. EXTRA POINTS FOR LIVING ON A RANCH IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE, AND STILL MANAGING TO BE AWESOME.

Note - this being, you know, ME, I left a lot out. Aside from the parsley, which I hate buying cuz I use a tiny lil bit, and the rest rots in the fridge. Ew. But I also left out the whole 2 lbs of pasta part. And the whole homemade pasta sauce part. And the actually using spaghetti part.

I just dumped in the Bertolli we had in the "pantry" (pantry is in quotation marks because you can't really call the CUPBOARD ABOVE THE OVEN A PANTRY) over some penne we had lying around. Pasta is pasta. Whatever.

This ALSO got extra points because I finally broke in ye olde Lodge Cast Iron Pot:

That's the sweetness.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

On Friendship...and Lemons

I offer the following quotation as an insight into my relationship with certain of my friends:

"What ho!" I said.
"What ho!" said Motty.
"What ho! What ho!"
"What ho! What ho! What ho!"
After that it seemed rather difficult to go on with the conversation."
- P.G. Wodehouse (duh)

Indeed.

Many of the conversations I have had with certain of my friends of late border on the ridiculous. For example, after a woeful encounter with a sprayer, in which it might be said that the sprayer came away from the argument with less damage, the following chat ensued between The Blonde and myself (more or less)

The Blonde:. Please. I look like an oompaloompa. you should have seen me this morning. i scared myself.

me: are you orange with green hair?

The Blonde: i could be

me: are you 4 foot 5?

The Blonde: maybe

me: hmm in that case i don't think i can call you the situation anymore.

The Blonde: waaaaaaaait

me: im sorry. The situation cannot be 4 foot 5 with orange skin and green hair. i mean one of these symptoms maybe but all three? i dont think so.

The Blonde: hahahaha

me: id have to send you off to go work in a chocolate factory and sing silly little rhyming songs

The Blonde: theeeey scaaaaaare meeeeeee

me: exactly! So if they scare you you cannot be an oompa loompa; no one is afraid of themselves. unless they are a serial killer.

The Blonde: hahahahaha

me: and if you were a serial killer then no WAY would Morgan marry you

The Blonde: GASP

me: and since that is one of your major life goals

The Blonde: this is true

me: it can't possibly be true.

The Blonde: i like your hypothesis

me: you know what you call this? you call this irrefutable logic.

The Blonde: correct dear Watson. that is exactly what this is

me: i know it. im very smart.

The Blonde: you have deduced that I am NOT an oompa loompa and therefore i AM THE SITUATION!. WHAT UP

And now...regarding lemon rolls. I was slightly disappointed because the mother of the author of the recipe declares solemnly after tasting said rolls that "this is the best thing I have ever put in my mouth" Vast exaggeration, and if not then please allow me to introduce you to my Cinnamon Rolls.

However, they were prettttty tasty. And made good use of the meyer lemons that my friend brought me!

Zesty...and I can wait while you are oohing and aahing over my impressive shot.



...maybe it's not that impressive.

You put your ingredients in shot glasses right? No? Just me then. OKAY

Ahh...the finished product:

Recipe!!

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Regarding Family Recipes

It was my intent this evening to make my favorite soup, my grandmother's vegetable soup, a staple of Easter and Christmas dinners.

Or whenever I begged.

It's a good soup! With many vegetables for a particularly nutritious Tuesday dinner. Or it would have been had I not forgotten myself and used an entire stick of butter.

Damn. That was some tasty soup.

Also advice from Grammy when making this soup - "if it doesn't taste good, just add more bouillon!"

Bouillon FTW team. For the win.

NEXT UP - MEYER LEMON MORNING ROLLS - like cinnamon rolls, but with a delicious, lemony filling.

EDIT: I realized this post would be infinitely served if I ACTUALLY POSTED THE FRIGGIN RECIPE. So that all the internet can glory in its deliciousness:

2 cups lettuce, chopped (I used half of the heart of romaine head)
2 cups celery, chopped
2 onions, chopped (tears running down my face, per the usj)
1 carrot, chopped

Saute veggies in
1/2 stick of butter (of if you are, you know, slow of wits, an entire stick)
until you feel like the volume has reduced by approx 20%.

Add 2 cans of diced tomatoes and 4 cups of boiling water (electric kettle = awesome)

Simmer for 30 minutes.

Add 4 cubes of bouillon, salt and pepper to taste. Allow the bouillon cubes to melt and then the soup to simmer up again.

My grandmother says to keep adding bouillon till it tastes good, but this usually happens around 4 cubes.

Carefully ladle into bowls, making a minimum of mess, and present proudly to roommate. The Mav politely inquires as to how much butter is actually in the soup, declares it similar to eating a cookie, and happily consumes for 2nd dinner.

Cheers!
Frances

Monday, March 15, 2010

And now for something completely different!

It will not have escaped the notice of the discerning reader that it has been many days, nay WEEKS, (moons even?) since a last post.

...

Moving on!


Interesting article in Vanity Fair today - apparently V.F. and 60 minutes took a poll of approximately 580 Americans. This poll lead to the conclusion that "Americans are like straightlaced, upright citizens who turn out to have a surprising quirky streak - the accountant with an entire room dedicated to his collection of Pez dispensers. Alphabetized by character"

I must say, I wish I could agree a little more strongly. Surely we could do with more of the quirk and less of the accountant!

I should note that they based this "quirkiness" trait on the fact that 9% of Americans, if given the chance to change the map of the United States, would choose to combine the Dakotas.

Riiiiiiiiiight.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Hi Welcome. I'm Confused. And You Are...?

Oh - you are confused too? Yeah. Join the club.

The latest selection at the Non-Nerdy (Ok - maybe nerdy) book club is A Wild Sheep Chase by Haruki Mirakami:


And...what? Please be prepared for spoilers for the first 80 pages, cuz that is as far as I have gotten.

The Mav and I have discussed our feelings for this book, and so far they are generally not positive. She is displeased with the non-sequitors and general randomness, and I can't STAND the lack of timeline. I suppose that is unimaginative of me, but I like my stories to have a beginning, a middle, and an end.

The so called "sheep-chase" has just been introduced, and going from the back blurb, appears to be the main focus of the story. That being said, I think you could pretty safely compost the first 80 pages into mulch, and not really have done much injury to the story.

I AM SO CONFUSED. A great deal of attention has been paid to his girlfriend's ears? Apparently they are mindbogglingly gorgeous. Unfortch, I cannot empathize with the narrator here, as I have never seen a truly staggering set of aural accoutrement. I am always annoyed with a narrator I cannot empathize with.


Ok so this blurb provides a little more information - it is mock hardboiled mystery? Buckoes, this is NOT hardboiled. Not remotely. The closest egg analogy would probably be scrambled.

HOWEVER. We shall see. I like me a little bit of action - mayhap getting to the yolk of the plot (PUNS) will change my mind.

Being confused is not an uncomfortable state of mind for me after all, so I continue. Just muddled.

Images Courtesy of The Book Bark

A Photo Blog

I would like to direct your attention to the amazing work of photographer Phillip Toledano - in Days with My Father he documents the relationship he has with his aging father.


The work is beautiful, poignant, and sad. Above all - the work is love.

...What? I CAN BE SERIOUS SOMETIMES.

All the better to keep you on your toes, my dear

Sunday, January 31, 2010

Bicycles



I did something magnificently impressive this weekend! I RODE A BICYCLE IN THE CITY.

Yes. You are impressed. I couldn't agree more - I am impressed too.

It was fairly terrifying (I got honked at, and stuck behind a bus) but TOTALLY WORTH IT. I now have a much better understanding of WHY The Man gets so frustrated with public transportation. If it's really all you have, there is really no point in getting upset, but when you KNOW there are alternative means and are STUCK taking public transit and its total lack of efficiency, one is bound to get a lil frustrated.

As you know, I consume vast amounts of images and information through my Reader, which over the years has hooked me up with interesting little niblets re two wheeled transport. Like so:

Something like this would be pretty wild and awesome if I loved in a city with NO HILLS AT ALL. Not the most practical here, but I can see how these can be immensely attractive in Europe.

Also, this:

Stunning. Unfortch, a fixed gear. It's a CRUISING bike, horror of horrors. Entirely appropriate for cruising in Venice or Davis, but perhaps not for navigating terrain, buses, and traffic between Cole Valley and North Beach.

I suppose I will have to work my way up to being truly bad ass enough to ride to work every day. But the HILLS. O the HILLS.

Monday, January 4, 2010

January 4, 2010

A few things should be mentioned in this, the dawn of the New Year.

1) The Twitter thing is consistently broken, so I have tossed it. GOOD RIDDANCE.

2) After YEARS of pining, I have a KitchenAid Stand Mixer. I would say, expect more awesome cooking posts, but considering my abysmal record thus far, I'll just advise keeping fingers crossed.

3) Both Avatar AND Sherlock Holmes were totally and completely worth the ridiculous, non-Cloverdale movie prices.

4) When I was a little girl, I would eat my peas and salad with ketchup.

That is all.