Sometimes, I am made of awesome

QUITE LIKE THESE COOKIES:

OMG they were amazing. I've been more-than-is-healthy obsessed with Smitten Kitchen for the past few days. Her argument about how 97% of things are better homemade than what you pay $4.00 for at Starbucks or Mrs. Fields is absolutely true. Splittin' 'em with The Blonde, and bringin some to work tomorrow before flyin' up to Portland for The Big's wedding.

Yes. Of course I'm going to hit Powell's Books. Don't ask stupid questions.

On Friendship...and Lemons

I offer the following quotation as an insight into my relationship with certain of my friends:

"What ho!" I said.
"What ho!" said Motty.
"What ho! What ho!"
"What ho! What ho! What ho!"
After that it seemed rather difficult to go on with the conversation."

- P.G. Wodehouse (duh)

Indeed.

Many of the conversations I have had with certain of my friends of late border on the ridiculous. For example, after a woeful encounter with a sprayer, in which it might be said that the sprayer came away from the argument with less damage, the following chat ensued between The Blonde and myself (more or less)

The Blonde:. Please. I look like an oompaloompa. you should have seen me this morning. i scared myself.

me: are you orange with green hair?

The Blonde: i could be

me: are you 4 foot 5?

The Blonde: maybe

me: hmm in that case i don't think i can call you the situation anymore.

The Blonde: waaaaaaaait

me: im sorry. The situation cannot be 4 foot 5 with orange skin and green hair. i mean one of these symptoms maybe but all three? i dont think so.

The Blonde: hahahaha

me: id have to send you off to go work in a chocolate factory and sing silly little rhyming songs

The Blonde: theeeey scaaaaaare meeeeeee

me: exactly! So if they scare you you cannot be an oompa loompa; no one is afraid of themselves. unless they are a serial killer.

The Blonde: hahahahaha

me: and if you were a serial killer then no WAY would Morgan marry you

The Blonde: GASP

me: and since that is one of your major life goals

The Blonde: this is true

me: it can't possibly be true.

The Blonde: i like your hypothesis

me: you know what you call this? you call this irrefutable logic.

The Blonde: correct dear Watson. that is exactly what this is

me: i know it. im very smart.

The Blonde: you have deduced that I am NOT an oompa loompa and therefore i AM THE SITUATION!. WHAT UP

And now...regarding lemon rolls. I was slightly disappointed because the mother of the author of the recipe declares solemnly after tasting said rolls that "this is the best thing I have ever put in my mouth" Vast exaggeration, and if not then please allow me to introduce you to my Cinnamon Rolls.

However, they were prettttty tasty. And made good use of the meyer lemons that my friend brought me!

Zesty...and I can wait while you are oohing and aahing over my impressive shot.

...maybe it's not that impressive.

You put your ingredients in shot glasses right? No? Just me then. OKAY

Ahh...the finished product:

Recipe!!

January 4, 2010

A few things should be mentioned in this, the dawn of the New Year.

1) The Twitter thing is consistently broken, so I have tossed it. GOOD RIDDANCE.

2) After YEARS of pining, I have a KitchenAid Stand Mixer. I would say, expect more awesome cooking posts, but considering my abysmal record thus far, I'll just advise keeping fingers crossed.

3) Both Avatar AND Sherlock Holmes were totally and completely worth the ridiculous, non-Cloverdale movie prices.

4) When I was a little girl, I would eat my peas and salad with ketchup.

That is all.

Book Club for the Non-Nerdy

OK...maybe nerdy.

I am in / have been in a number of bookclubs over the past couple of months. Currently, I am in two: The Book Club for the Non- Nerdy (ok maybe nerdy) AND my work book club. Since it really can't be a good idea for me to talk about work here, let's focus on the books selected by the non-nerds.

We have had a select few already:

Bonk: The Curious Coupling of Science and Sex by Mary Roach

The Three Coffins, by John Dickson Carr

Tender at the Bone, by Ruth Reichl

Blink, by Malcolm Gladwell

Interpreter of Maladies, by Jhumpha Lahiri

Today's discussion was regarding Lahiri's book, and team - I LOVED it. And not just for the company, which was fabulous. Everyone contributed something: there were spring rolls, and curry, and kabobs, and NAAN, and chicken tiki masala, and me. I baked. Per the usj: ginger molasses cookies.

I enjoyed the book itself, and I wasn't really expecting to, true literature not really being my bag. I had forgotten how much I liked the short story format - I found myself going through the book rather quickly. The stories are very human, and very full of what I deem to be the stuff of life - love, family, dealing with tragedy and dishonesty, growing up and growing old.

...well I suppose that was nerdy after all. Nerdy, and full of the sweetness.

Right.

I KNOW ALRIGHT?

I KNOW.

Any comments you various peanut galleries might have currently have the relevance of a cow's opinion.

They are moo.

HOWEVER, I would like to take the time to discuss with you all...the Bonfire. I was not fortunate enough to attend Saturday's game as I have in the past, so all I have to say regarding THAT is...

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA YEAH GO BEARS.

At least my absence meant that I did not have to sit through a performance of the Stanfurd Banned. Small blessings, I suppose.

Anyway, despite the rain on Friday, the Coz and I did manage to make it out to the Greek. I fought my way through campus - I couldn't even make it past Wheeler! I am hesitant to offer an opinion, but I must say that the Regents are dealing with a bad situation. The budget crisis is the reason for this mess, and really - slashing public education is so friggin' short sighted I can't even think straight.

RIGHT - moving on: there was FIRE and the University of California Marching Band and The UC Men's Octet (and the Golden Overtones too) and Tom Edwards and the Axe Cheer and FIRE and for once there was a funny sketch! There hasn't been a funny sketch in all my years of going.

It was awesome. To placate you I have pictures.

Before...

During...

And after...

Aaaaand then we left. Because it was pouring rain! And I've been to 6 bonfires. It was freezing, we went to La Burrito, went back to her place, made brownies, and eggnog, and watched Star Trek.

Awesome.

Awww I'm Two for Two Baby

Hooray two days in a row! I'll pause for your applause and general support.

Anyway, in my vast and difficult efforts to try and make my life interesting for you all, I realized there was one thing I do REALLY well. As I have told you before, I'm a pretty good baker. Well...most of the time anyway.

WHICH BRINGS US TO TODAY'S POST.

Re everyone's favorite topic. Donuts.

Now, don't lie. You know its true. Donuts are awesome. Apparently "awesome" is not the default setting for donuts. I was extremely disappointed to discover this.

Let's break it down.

These were Apple Cider Donuts. I figured this to be a sure fire WIN because its the beginning of apple season, and i would be able to swing the super high quality stuff from the farmer's market. The Coz was also going to chime in with a butter-apple-rum glaze that sounded top notch.

But no. There was no win for these donuts.

Exhibit A:

What is this you ask?

This is shortening. Probably the first mistake. The genius over at Smitten Kitchen said something the lines that because shortening is solid at room temperature, this would make the donuts less greasy.

LIES.

Well, lies for me anyway. Apparently, this only serves to make it MORE greasy. Like, Greasy bricks.

Another issue. I apparently thought that these were going to be light and fluffy and delicious, despite the total lack of yeast to make them rise. I also apparently thought that these would turn out nothing like the Buttermilk Brick donuts that weigh, like 2 pounds each, EVEN THOUGH THE RECIPE CALLED FOR BUTTERMILK.

Moral: I have curious blind spots when it comes to cooking certain things, and compensate a lack of ingredients with a dangerous degree of overconfidence.

Exhibit B:

I am pretty sure this is the type of donut that is supposed to have a hole in it. It is obviously a misshapen blob.

To sum up. This was a DONUT FAIL. A donot win, if you will.

This is what we ended up with:

THIS IS A HEART ATTACK + A STROKE + GENERAL MISERY ON A PLATE.

Oh, it's also topped with apple cider glaze and cinnamon sugar, because The Coz's butter rum sauce was another fail that burned and then sat and gurgled to itself for a few days on the stove top because I hate cleaning the kitchen.

So yeah. Unfortunately, escapes of this general theme are distressingly frequent, so I decided that they needed to be named. Many of the recipes I try out are taken from Smitten Kitchen, because her mad photography skills make everything look AH-MAY-ZING. My original thought was to call it Bitten Kitchen (cuz everything sucked), but that had TOTALLY UNINTENTIONAL vampiric connotations.

NOT ON THIS BLOG BUDDY.

Donut Fail. However, this did not mean they went into the trash. Because you have to be an idiot to throw away donuts. I just shortened my life span by a good decade per donut hole.

I wish I could say these had the sweetness. They just had the greasiness.

San Francisco Ferry Building Farmer's Market

Saturday was a happy happy day. Got to meet up with The Big for the first time in MONTHS. Honestly, the way medical school destroys relationships is almost offensive. An unexpected trip to the Bay just in time for the Game (49-17 GO BEARS) meant that we got to meet up for brekkers.

Being a genius, I volunteered the Farmer's Market as an excellent source of pre-game nourishment.

Instead of being smart and healthy young people, investing in our future with colorful veggies:

we instead opted for the delicious Golden Gate Breakfast Muffin. With Bacon. Duh.

We walked and chatted, and sat and chatted, and ate and chatted. When you go months without speaking to people, you tend to have a lot to catch up on.

Appropriately spirited flowers:

We both kind of wished we liked egg plant more after seeing the color on these puppies. But...they are gross! And kind of rubbery!

Tomatoes...I can get behind. However, at the end of the summer, you have had enough caprese to tide you over till the next June.

Instead, we have harvest season:

Side note - late season harvest was last week for Simi. Delicious.

I actually had an ulterior motive in dragging The Big to the farmer's market:

That's right. Apple Cider. Fresh apple cider. For Apple Cider Doughnuts.

THAT'S RIGHT.

I don't even need to say it. You already KNOW how sweet it is.

Bananas in Pajamas

I will tell you right now, that the title of of this post is misleading. Now before you bring on the Spanish Inquisition, I have something for which to mollify you.

This is, in fact, about Cinammon Rolls.

Now, some of you may rightly be suspicious of my mad cooking skills.

And after the raw salami + fig debacle, you might be right. But this is about baking. And team, I can bake. I am notorious for making enormous messes, and leaving cupboards open.

See here:

And here, The Coz dropping butter (obviously haphazardly) into the frosting:

But the fact of the matter is that, nearly on a regular basis, I can churn out delicious, nutritritous treats. Ok, maybe nutritious is a bit of an over statement,

and yes, that is an entire box of powdered sugar. But if at 1:00am in the morning, The Mav, the Coz, and I can all sit down with a freshly baked cinn. roll, then my work here is done. And it's awesome. And I did it all with Boris and Doris traipsing all over the Florida Keys in the background.

Now that is why I have the sweetness. And now, so can you.